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I have ED with new partners because of some past sexual trauma and Im in the same boat. The 5 Most Important Facts about Erectile Dysfunction. Not sexy thoughts. The tricky part is that it's hard to say this in a way that isn't a personal rejection. Its been a while since I had those, and I thought it was simply a product of getting older. It’s just a feeling. I wasn’t nervous or anxious at all...but I couldn’t have sex with the woman if my life depended on it. It's not impossible for him to be rewired to you. We even meditated together and did relaxation exercises to create a super calm space but he didn't want to even attempt sex. This is a deeply personal issue but I could really use some insight on. If he said he didn't want penetrative sex than I would've accepted that and just continued to enjoy what we did have. My confusion lies in the fact that he didn't even want to attempt it yet said he wanted it. There is no shame in that, Scheduled sex -- I really don't like that. I wasn't having sex with anyone. [–]OneTonWantonWonton 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (5 children). A couple of months went by, and the change was amazing. A week or so ago I found out some cute girl had a crush on me. Yeah, I explained how it works for me in a previous comment to this post, but I know not everyone works like I do. She is financially dependent on him. Isn't freedom to explore other relationships something they decided they wanted to do together not something she granted him? [–]solopolygal[S] 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (0 children). [–]morethantwo_phx 6 points7 points8 points 8 months ago (4 children). 23 votes, 59 comments. Anyway, it's a lot, haha. #polyamory on Snoonet. Physical exam. No matter what meds I try in any dose, I see the same results. Perhaps it's very subconscious. Please read the full rules and descriptions of the rules here. It sounds like he, being content with a romantic relationship, but not sexual, thought that was the foundation. [–]BigFprime 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago (2 children). I had been having bad sexual encounters with women. I started avoiding asking women out. Although I did not target or criticize her in anyway, I just simply asked for a bit more privacy, he snapped back and said that he felt that she "allowed us a lot of freedom to explore a relationship." How Oxytocin(the "bond/love" hormone) works with men is has been shown to increase monogamy in men. My suspicion is your guy’s life experience and current struggle is somewhere akin to mine. That said, these are the set rules: You can visit the /r/Polyamory FAQ, but it's currently still a work in progress! Throw away account because I am talking about my wiener. Trust your instincts. Here’s an excerpt from an interesting in The Guardian about what can happen when Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and/or Premature Ejaculation (PE) are ignored. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. It can occur sporadically, or it may be long-term or even permanent. I wish he hadn't acted impulsively as it has only caused more confusion for me, which is reasonable. [–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago (3 children). A man with a 44-inch waist is actually 50% more likely to have erectile dysfunction than another with a 34-inch waist. I am a guy who's erectile dysfunction was cured by a CPAP machine. He insisted that it wasn't healthy to put our physical relationship aside and then a few days later he ended things claiming that he couldn't offer me a physical relationship at this time even though I explicitly stated that I would be fine with whatever he could offer. I gave my all to that relationship and could finally see how I was being used as a father figure for her kids when she no longer had feelings for me. He said he was really nervous and he did engage in all those things you did (meditation, yoga, relaxation, breathwork). Not so for men. Agreed. Erectile dysfunction is an issue that many men keep to themselves, in secret. I wonder if that’s an issue with your guy. So this happened to me. As much as you might have communication needs, if he's struggling to relax to the point of ED, he probably does not have capacity to do the emotional work of addressing your communication needs. [–]UnlimitedNan 14 points15 points16 points 8 months ago (4 children). You're likely just not getting his oxytocin flowing. If you have chronic health conditions or your doctor suspects that an underlying condition might be involved, you might need further tests or a consultation with a specialist.Tests for underlying conditions might include: 1. [–]solopolygal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (0 children). But that first time was hard, mentally. It’s not a matter of not being into the person. His wife isn't going to let him move on. Ultimately, he knows that I am Ok with whatever he wants but I would just like for him to communicate it to me instead (ie. I tried ED meds in the same situation and they never work. We are on good terms, but there is no investment on my part towards anything other than occasional conversations about movies or video games. 33 votes, 57 comments. These things happen, despite me being fairly fat. According to an article in the American Journal of Men’s Health which looked at over 9000 men with gallstones and over 9000 without, and found that the rate of erectile dysfunction … I woke up this morning and realized that I just got to let him work through the new things that are coming up for him since he started exploring poly. Me (F30) and my husband … I had her over at my house and we started making out. But it's still a useful idea to try; because here's the thing about EDs: There's probably *nothing* more likely to lead to a lack of erection than being worried about not having an erection. Before you, she could get away with being with other men without fear of losing her provider. Anyway, he's been recognizing a lot of stuff in therapy that he wants to work on for himself. haha curiosity timeeee (by “fine with poly” I mean wondering if I’d be happy/fine in a poly relationship). Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! I was nervous at first, because I did not want another horrible bedroom repeat. Sounds like you've chosen already and the answer is no? Poly writer and activist | mod | My polycule is a squiggle. [–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (1 child). I just wish he didn't jump the gun on ended our relationship and then change his mind and say that's not what he wants. I think he needs to focus on learning who he is oustide of his relationship with his wife. Shockwave therapy is a well-established procedure for promoting healing of injuries and bone fractures, and treating achilles tendinitis and plantar fasciitis. That's not okay, and he should work on communicating in a way that, at worst, leaves you disappointed in the moment, but never hurt and confused about being left in the dark. Perhaps you can talk to him about experimenting with things with no expectation of sex. I do not think his wife still actually cares about him, only what he provides to her. What I asked was that we remain open to trying, and I asked him to take that lead on that (ie. [–]njcioffi 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (0 children). use the following search parameters to narrow your results: News, views, and issues around polyamory, polyfidelity, poly people, and related issues. This makes it sound to me as if you equate sex to penetrative sex -- and that too puts extra pressure on him: it must "work" or else you're disappointed and it's a "failure". There may be some parallels there. He found out some things through counselling but he wasn't sure how those issues related to him having ED with me, specifically. Shockwaves may also break up and reduce blockages in arteries in the penis. And I'm very interested in considering how he is enacting measures of control in order to avoid the intimacy of difficult communications. A couple of years go by. He has told me he feels safe with me and not pressured so I assume that I'm not making it worse unless he's lying to me but I'm not sure why he would. I saw a post on Facebook some time later where someone mentioned being demisexual. At my work I noticed I was starting to nod off during the day. I’d also bet that he either doesn’t realize it, and there is a whole lot of repression going on. tell me when he felt ready, tell me what he wanted). Then, he decided to go along with it because...well 16 years. Thanks so much! I had been having bad sexual encounters with women. It took me 9 months to finally get the answers and communication I needed to resolve my own deep feelings and my hope. She stopped working a few years ago to focus on making art. When we left that night, I was able to have sex with my wife without any issue. I believe she is "stringing him along" for sure, now. Throughout our relationship, I was patient and supportive. We'll see what happens. You're right, this shit hurts. But he has difficulty communicating about sex (and all things sexual). This community doesn't have many rules, but please keep in mind that we should all be respectful and play nice. Erectile Dysfunction Symptoms Age brushart 2021-02-18T15:15:04+00:00. Anyway, it's just really sad that thought it made more sense to end the relationship than try. ". I suppose I'll just take a break and see about reconnecting as friends. ), [–]Brigittassen36 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago (1 child). But now, life is good. He explained that his issue was psychological and not physical which I think is why he didn't even consider ED meds. Thank you for that. AdvicePolyamory, erectile dysfunction and a break-up (self.polyamory). ", As others have said, Viagra or Cialis, etc. As someone with anxiety, you have actual symptoms: high blood pressure, increased heart rate, sweating, shakes and ED is one symptom. It is a psychological barrier for him. sex energy pills erectile dysfunction symptoms … Hi there. This is a deeply personal issue but I could really use some insight on. We have had that conversation and he insisted that he wanted sex to be a part of our romantic relationship. Throw away account because I am talking about my wiener. Thanks for your message. That's where I'm at now- just stepping back and letting him figure it out. I'm just very confused about what he really wants. Please read the full rules and descriptions of the rules here, Polyamory, erectile dysfunction and a break-up, https://healthland.time.com/2013/11/27/how-oxytocin-makes-men-almost-monogamous/, No seeking/pickup/personal ad posts. Somewhat paradoxically "attempting it" might be the -least- likely way to make it happen. Exactly. [–]solopolygal[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (2 children). Well... how is your patience? It's just a bit of a head trip for me. He hasn't been all that communicative about that either. I'm just feeling really sorry for myself that I was kind of an experiement/learning experience. There are times I don't want sex, but am happy to "help". Acoustic Wave Therapy is a patented soundwave treatment for erectile dysfunction that has successfully treated over 50,000 patients nationwide in over … He likely feels shame and embarrassment and probably feels bad for putting you through this. [–]melannannieq 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago (0 children).

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