jonah veep quotes

Marjorie: Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves. 'Veep's Julia Louis-Dreyfus Is Naked on the Cover of 'Rolling Stone' So, in anticipation of the show's return on April 6th, we've compiled 25 of the show's most cutting, crass insults. In 2013, he joined the Hughes administration as an intern. His campaign drew significant controversy due to Ryan's outspoken language and racism. Ryan's role in the government shutdown became largely unpopular with the people of New Hampshire. Because they're ignorant and they're dumb as shit. After Sykes' abuse was revealed during an October 2016 congressional hearing, Ryan used his position to advocate for male sexual assault victims. Ryan at the wedding of Mike McLintock; June 2015. Sykes was fired at the 2016 National Convention. During his campaign in Pennsylvania, Ryan contracted measles and accidentally killed his own father. Ryantology was subsequently shut down. Sue: Congressman Furlong called and he'd like some face time. Mint! "Good luck with your Fun Run. This tactic leads to an increase in popularity. With Selina Meyer’s staff called to testify before Congress on accusations of fraud in their handling of the president’s Families First bill, Amy and Dan were asked about the “Jonad Files,” where the office … After Doyle announced he would be leaving the ticket in July 2016, Ryan and Splett tried to ingratiate themselves with Tom James. If it were up to us, Selina Meyer would probably be our nomination for Veep. (S7E7, "Veep") Selina, trying to influence Tom James' chief of staff: "Can't say I blame you. A recap of ‘Veep,’ season seven, episode seven, the series finale of HBO’s Veep. He also led efforts to dismantle Daylight Savings Time, which were largely unsuccessful. You actually hope to cry in front of a stranger instead of someone you know, because then you're that crazy bride. He just hits the place like a tornado.\" Expressing distain towards the White House and the VP's office, Ryan began a news site called Ryantology in July 2015. Here are last night's best quotes from Veep 's king of one-liners, Jonah Ryan: "I got a jet here that could cut a fucking diamond." The Golden Globes are two days away and most of us are maniacally binge-watching our way to awards season relevance. The shutdown lasted for 25 days, and ultimately hurt Ryan in the polls. Sherman was an avid O'Brien supporter. Mint! Selina: Oh, let's see. She's stuck up - I was just calling her on it. Selina: OK, well, let's see: I'd rather … It's beginning to feel pretty joyless. Selina: In your country, people fuck snow. Jonah. She says this to Selina, about Gary. Hey, listen, settle something for me. Jonah. Pin for Later: 33 Annoying Things I Learned Planning My Own Wedding You'll cry over something dumb. Selina: Please God, deliver Jonah to Congress and then give him any kind of cancer, I don't care. Dan: Come on. It implies freshness, trust, traditional values. Veep has a deep bench of obnoxious assholes, but no one comes off of it and catches fire quite like Jonah’s Uncle Jeff. Mike. Veep Quotes. In May 2019, Ryan used the word "retard" multiple times to a reporter. Ryan found himself at odds with Minority Leader Furlong regarding a vacant position on the Ways and Means committee. He worked as the White House liaison under President Stuart Hughes and later President Selina Meyer. 171. U.S. House of Representatives (2017–2019). The day after the debate, Meyer aide Amy Brookheimer joined the Ryan campaign as campaign manager. He was pressured into being Selina Meyer's running mate in an effort by Meyer to clinch the nomination with Ryan's delegates. On November 8, 2016, the election ended in an electoral tie. “ Veep “ didn’t need to try any harder to master the art of the insult, but Sunday’s episode, “Testimony,” pulled it off anyway. Posted by 3 years ago. During this time, Ryan was sexually harassed by Doyle's Chief of Staff Teddy Sykes. Could it be as biting and brutal as it was for its first six seasons, especially after nearly two years off the air? Cause it’s working! In 2007, Ryan graduated from Granite State College with a degree in computer repair and public service management. Apr 27, 2019 - Explore Paul Zoicaş's board "Veep funny quotes" on Pinterest. In 2015, Ryan acted as the author of a political gossip blog known as "West Wing Man", posting menial information from his position in the Hughes administration. However, after Beth's father Lloyd Hennick appeared, they quarreled on camera. As Amy puts it: \"You always know when Jonah's in the office - he totally changes the atmosphere. It would later be revealed that they were step-siblings. Jonah. Though he is ultimately able to get to Congress and vote for Meyer to become president, by that time her plan had changed and she wanted him to vote for O'Brien. Well, Jonah Ryan, has never been afraid to take on either the big, important issues or the special interests. Jonah: I haven't traumatised anyone! Selina: He's just a varicose dick vein. However, after Chung's stories are discredited, Clovis withdrew their offer. In November 2015, Ryan began working for Maddox, considering challenging Meyer in the primaries. Ryan would keep a close relationship working for VP Doyle. By Matthew Jacobs. During this, Ryan would release his own birth certificate, revealing that Lloyd Hennick, his wife's father, is his own father too. According to a Vulture article written by showrunner David Mandel tying in with COVID-19 pandemic, Ryan was presented with a tip about the stocks regarding the airline industry and bought securities. In what was deemed to be a mistake by Roger Furlong, Ryan hired a staff of male interns that are much more attractive than he is. At the 2020 National Convention, Ryan's candidacy was given more legitimacy after a bombing suspect was revealed to be an algebra teacher. Selina: I came in third, Amy, OK? In June 2018, Ryan formed an alliance with several congresspeople, branding themselves as 'the Jeffersons'. Ryan hit on a winning strategy of insulting President Meyer. He was invited to go on MSNBC, but was threatened by Dan Egan to not say a word about the VP's office. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. It's frustrating. Selina: The skyscraper of shit has arrived. Ryan continued to ingratiate himself more in the VP's office, including going with Meyer to various events, such as her daughter's 21st birthday party and a North Carolina pig roast. What are you favorite insults from Veep? In 2016, Ryan was chosen to be the party nominee in a special congressional election in New Hampshire's 2nd congressional district following the death of Congressman Harry Sherman. Selina: Jonah. Richard Splett became Ryan's personal assistant in February 2016. Sometime after the campaign announcement, his grandfather passed away, where he met his former stepsister and (unbeknownst to him) half-sister Beth Hennick. Looking forward to the new season, we rounded up some of Selina’s best lines that are pretty quotable, but probably not something you should say in the workplace. In April 2019, Ryan was involved in the "#NotMe" scandal after he claimed to at one point be in a sexual relationship with several women he had minimal engagement with. Davison also fired Ryan from the West Wing. And start with the doctor who delivered you. Gary: Yep. Season 1 Episode 5 "Nicknames" "That's like trying to use a f---ing croissant as a dildo. Selina: Jesus Christ. New Hampshire officials announced that a special election would be held on December 21. Mike: Not great, admittedly. During his tenure in Congress, Ryan was credited with forming a coalition of congresspeople known as the Jeffersons, who were able to torpedo key legislation to raise the debt-ceiling, resulting in the 2018 government shutdown. In January 2019, Ryan announced he was running for the party nomination for president of the United States. In October 2016, White House Chief of Staff Ben Cafferty sent Ryan and Splett to lobby in favor of the Families First Bill, knowing their incompetence would encourage congresspeople to vote against it. In a desperate attempt to secure his place in politics, Ryan met with Sherman Tanz, who told him that despite his fondness for Ryan he is now only buying Senators and presidents to create "reasonable change". He was disliked by everyone in Selina Meyer's office, and it was later revealed that everyone in the West Wing hates him too. While preparing for an uphill re-election battle in the 2018 midterms against Di Vicentis, Ryan discovered from his uncle Jeff Kane that he is being replaced on the ballot with Ezra. Jonah: OK. Who else has the perfect combination of smarts, sass, and … His impeachment gravely injured his public image and ended his career in politics. Richard: Councilwomen Troy and Desconi. Last week's season premiere of Veep was all about proving that the long-running HBO satire still had a place in the discourse on American politics. Because they quarreled at the convention months earlier, Meyer assigned Amy Brookheimer to work as Ryan's Chief of Staff as punishment. Ryan came in third place in the South Carolina primary on February 23. Meyer and Ryan were officially nominated by the party on July 26, 2020. It's exhausting. He was the first and only vice president to be impeached. You want some of those? Teddy: Jonah, who have you traumatised? Jonah Ryan's tenure as vice president began on January 20, 2021. Selina: Yeah, drive sober. Instead of acting professional in his position of power, Ryan acted like one of the "bros". Charlie Baird: “I feel like that guy doesn’t like me very much.” Selina: … ‘Veep’ season four returns to HBO on April 12, and that means that Selina Meyer and company are back for an insult and profanity filled look at Washington D.C. and politics. The answer was an unsurprising and resounding yes, but… Ryan was able to ingratiate himself at Furlong's weekend paella dinners, maneuvering himself to get a better office. Selina: Then you can fuck off. Furlong insisted that Ryan stay on the Ethics committee along with other less respected congresspeople. Following this, Ryan began acting respectful towards Meyer, fearing she could soon be his boss. Jonah Joy Ryan (born June 12, 1982) is an American politician who served as the 49th vice president of the United States from 2021 until his impeachment partway through his term. Dan: I was trying to use Jonah for intelligence! We Ranked The Phenomenal Jonah Insults In This Week’s ‘Veep’. "If it ain't one West Wing Man, it ain't no thing man." New Hampshire kingmaker Jeff Kane contacted Ryan to run and occupy the seat until war hero Ezra Kane returns from the middle east. It doesn't do … Ryan's congressional campaign was marked with repeated setbacks, including his abrasive interactions with the public, which were often videotaped and sent to the media. "Listen to me, you walking trisomy, I could get dog shit in a condom elected in New Hampshire." Luckily for your angry ass, one GG nominee is the perfect mouthpiece for your rage. In March 2019, at a campaign event in New Hampshire, Ryan introduced Beth. In December 2015, Ryan was able to unearth the online beliefs of Ray Whelans, a new Meyer staffer. Ryan orchestrated a handshake between Maddox and Meyer that acted as a blunder for Meyer. Ryan during a Florida campaign rally; February 28, 2020. Selina: Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside and get some wood to start a fire? Sykes urged him to undergo PR training, which went so poorly that the arrangement ended in a lawsuit from the PR coaches, with one of the coaches snapping and calling Ryan a "retard". (S7E7, "Veep") Amy, to Jonah: "You're a monument to vaginal dryness." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is democracy. Ryan served as Maddox's bagman. Selina: Are you kidding me? The morning of the congressional vote for the presidency on January 3, Ryan woke up late, in the home of a high school student after having a one-night stand. Marjorie. I can't stand that guy. These rumors contributed to Egan suffering a panic attack and losing his position as campaign manager. After discovering he was not invited to Meyer's portrait unveiling at the White House, he and the Jeffersons voted against a bill to raise the debt ceiling, leading to a government shutdown. Everybody say way-o! During the debate, Ryan drew widespread condemnation after photographs caught him with slurs written on his hands--slurs he wrote down so he "wouldn't say them". With his campaign ailing, Ryan discovered that Tanz all along had no confidence in Ryan's ability to win the nomination and had just been using his candidacy to court delegates to make changes to the party platform at the convention. Daylight Saving Time, the clock is ticking toward a time when you will soon be over. On November 24, 2016, Congressman Harry Sherman died from salmonella poisoning. Permalink: Mint!It implies freshness, trust, traditional values. Richard: Sounds like you. He later underwent six weeks of chemotherapy and had one of his cancerous testicles removed. Veep Quotes. It was created by Armando Ianucci . It is High Noon! Permalink: Mint!It implies freshness, trust, traditional values. In 2018, Ryan was removed from the ballot and replaced with his cousin Ezra Kane. According to Ryan's two advisers Ben Cafferty and Kent Davison, Furlong hosts weekend dinners but only for married couples. https://www.vulture.com/2019/05/veep-insult-generator-jonah-jonad.html Try not to swear when the starter pistol goes off." Gary: These flowers came for you from Secretary of Defense Maddox. Members of his campaign team included Teddy Sykes and Bill Ericsson, with Tanz acting as a major investor. And I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect. Ryan's colleagues listen intently as he debates the Healthy School Lunch Act; January 3, 2018. Dan: I thought— You know, you do your best, you try to serve the people, and then they just fuck you over. In September 2013, Hughes came down with a sickness in Africa, leading to a temporary incapacitation. In June 2018, Ryan became engaged to Shawnee Tanz, daughter of Sherman Tanz. After learning Meyer would be running for president in the 2016 presidential election, Ryan offered to be of use to the campaign. Selina: That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo! In his first few days as vice president, Meyer gave Ryan the treatment Hughes gave her by preventing his access to the Oval Office and setting him up with an office in the Eisenhower Building. Selina: OK, so they want me to go to a pig roast to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns to fuck the pig before they roasted it? Due to his inability to reach the 5% threshold in the polls, Ryan attended the undercard primary debate on May 18, 2019. It's Marjorie! One of his first stories was Hughes reversing his stance on abortion and Meyer's inability to come up with her own stance. You'll cry over something dumb. Sue: Congressman Furlong called and he'd like some face time. Jonah is, in a way, an honorary member of the Veep's team - although, as he is keen to point out, he actually works for The White House. However, after Bill O'Brien took the lead in the state, they unknowingly continued protesting when Meyer wanted them to stop demanding the vote be counted. Ryan attempted to use a CBS interview with Jane McCabe to clarify their relationship. In March 2018, after being impressed with Ryan's remarks concerning daylight savings, private prison magnate Sherman Tanz decided to invest $5 million into Ryan, providing him with a quality staff who aided Ryan in writing legislation. Actor Timothy Simons said he had no idea what Ryan would have been impeached for, but that Meyer probably would have been actively encouraging his impeachment behind closed doors.[1]. Ryan is able to use his leverage with Chung's torture rumors to demand a higher position. At the debate, Ryan faced off against Clarence Clark and Lord Wolfsbane, among others. The two would reconnect and get married months later. The Jeffersons disbanded in August 2018 with the formation of Clarence Clark's "Libertonians", a group Ryan was not invited to join. Meyer's team believed that flipping the seat could give them an edge in the congressional vote to decide the presidency. ‘ I think that each candidates has merits and demerits, and I don’t know my left butt cheek from my… In 2013, Ryan worked as the White House liaison between the West Wing and the vice president's office. Ryan grew up in New Hampshire and attended Granite State College. His mother Nancy Ryan raised him as a single mother, and hid the fact that Lloyd Hennick was his true father, calling him only one of his three step-fathers. Selina Meyer on Gary Walsh. Ryan and Splett testified before congress once the actions of Meyer's administration were suspected by Congressman Moyes. Even the Nazis came in second. Close. Tom. The Best Veep Quotes "Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the f--king point, Jonah?" Veep is a 2012 HBO critically acclaimed television comedy series set in the Office of a fictional Vice President of the United States. Ryan's presidential campaign was marked by repeated blunders. This was due to the fact that she and Herrick were second cousins, who had temporarily fled to Canada at the time of Ryan's birth due to stigma from their families. At Mike McLintock's wedding, Ryan posted a picture of the vice president's staff discovering that George Maddox would be resigning, arousing suspicions that Maddox would be potentially challenging Meyer in a hypothetical primary. Yeah, that should be the title of my fucking memoir. On January 2, 2017, Jonah Ryan was sworn in as U.S. Representative from New Hampshire's second congressional district in the 115th United States Congress. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, veep quotes. Selina: "Not great, admittedly"? You know, when it takes a cop 15 bullets to put him down. Richard: Well, there's your aide, Emma Gray. Selina: No. If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1dWa45JkQ8, https://www.vulture.com/2020/04/veep-coronavirus-episode.html, https://veep.fandom.com/wiki/Jonah_Ryan?oldid=19091. Selina: OK, well, let's see: I'd rather set fire to my vulva, so that's a no. Selina: And you know why? On January 3, 2018, Ryan spoke out in opposition to the "Healthy School Lunch Act", believing kids should be able to eat unhealthy junk food if they want. “I don’t have time to ignore you.” — Amy Brookheimer. “Veep” star Timothy Simons, who plays fictional character Jonah Ryan on the hit HBO show “Veep,” revealed Tuesday which Republican senator inspired his role. One of his many roles is to act as a kind of liaison between the White House and the Vice President's office, shuttling messages back and forth. Selina: Well, that's terrifying. 'Veep's Julia Louis-Dreyfus Is Naked on the Cover of 'Rolling Stone' So, in anticipation of the show's return on April 6th, we've compiled 25 of the show's most cutting, crass insults. Ryan won the Florida primary on March 3. Selina: No, no, let me be more clear: It doesn't do the job and it makes a fucking MESS. In the midst of this, Ryan discovered that Clovis wants to buy Ryantology, offering $4-6 million. After Maddox bombed at the primary debate, Ryan began looking for a position with either Chung or Thornhill. On February 18, 2020, Ryan came in sixth place in the New Hampshire primary, raking in 3% of the vote. Seeing the situation as unsalvageable, both Sykes and Ericsson left the campaign, as Brookheimer sensed a possible path to the nomination by pandering to racists and xenophobes. Jonah: Yes, ma'am. During a campaign spot in South Carolina, Ryan used his platform to attack Muslims for inventing math. Mike: Ma'am, Martin Collins, the secret service guy we reassigned, he's back. The program is created by Armando Iannucci. Fan-made, obviously I own no rights to Veep or its characters. You're not even your Mom's favorite Jonah, Jonah. With his vast knowledge in the field of recounts, Meyer appointed Splett to be Meyer's Nevada recount specialist, with Ryan working for Splett. Ryan and Splett led a "count the votes" protest as the recount deadline approached. Even for someone who doesn’t normally have a filter on their mouth like Selina, there are times when you’ve said way… Sometime during his vice presidency, Ryan was impeached and either was removed or resigned from office. Selina: I need that stuff that junkies use. In October 2015, Ryan was invited to Meyer's campaign launch as a member of the press. This spurred Ryan to announce his candidacy for president in the 2020 presidential election at a campaign rally in New Hampshire. During his victory speech, Ryan congratulated himself and claimed nobody took him seriously. Gary: No? Amy: And every day, you have to do the one thing that O'Brien can't do. During Ryan's campaign in Florida, Ryan would escalate attacks on Selina Meyer, demanding that she release her birth certificate to reveal her real age. [2] However, the events of this article take place in 2020, during what would have been the Montez Administration. Jonah: Shnozz? Partway through Ryan's term as vice president, he was impeached and removed from office. In the decades following his impeachment, Ryan would continue to be married to Beth and live in his mother's house in New Hampshire. It implies freshness, trust, traditional values. Get out of my office. Veep Quotes. See also: Jonah Ryan 2020 presidential campaign. The Meyer-Ryan ticket won the general election against Laura Montez on November 3, 2020. He's been un-reassigned. On January 3, 2019, Ryan was succeeded in the House of Representatives by his cousin Ezra Kane. Ryan was born in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, but grew up in New Hampshire. This may have been a factor leading to his impeachment. Jonah: OK, well, that could be anybody. On December 19, while going hunting during a campaign event, Ryan shot himself in the foot. Minna Häkkinen: I would like you to understand that in my country, politics is a lot more honest. Ryan returned to his old job as White House liaison, communicating between President Selina Meyer and Vice President Andrew Doyle. Weeks later, with tension between Meyer and Danny Chung building, Egan fooled Ryan into believing that Chung tortured people in Iraq. As a result, Kent Davison pushed up Hughes' announcement to that day. 12 Of Our Favorite Quotes From Veep. Despite coming in third in the primaries overall, Ryan was selected to be Selina Meyer's running mate. Gary: OK, I got coffee, I got ginseng, I got protein bars. Jonah: White House is in the house. In 2045, Ryan was not among those invited to attend the funeral of Selina Meyer due to his fractured public image following his impeachment. The Meyer-Ryan ticket would go on to win the election and Ryan was sworn in as vice president on January 20, 2021. As Selina Meyer on HBO's "Veep," Julia Louis-Dreyfus not only earned herself a nomination for this year's Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy category, but supplied us with five seasons of scathing reactions to every infuriating situation. Ryan hired Cliff to act as his personal assistant in order to have someone to command around. Ryan won the election and served in the 115th United States Congress. After a game of office basketball led to an intense pain in his crotch, Ryan was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Selina: You like to have sex and you like to travel? In response, his opponent Judy Sherman made a patronizing comment about how unsafe guns can be. However, after Meyer ascended to the presidency on January 24, 2016, Ryan was invited by Egan to return, in exchange for his silent regarding Chung's torture rumors. This comment resulted in the NRA launching a series of last minute attack ads against Sherman, enabling Ryan to win the election and take his place in the 115th United States Congress. After discovering that Ryan is a lame duck, Shawnee Tanz called off their engagement. It turned out that Ryan misread the tip and went personally bankrupt. Veep (2012–19) was a satirical political comedy TV series starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer, a senator who becomes the first female vice president and, later, the first female president.

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